i was having a discussion with my ex (my ex happens to be one of the very few people who i can have a decent discussion whereby he can interact back with me. Most men are lousy at conversations). Yes, i still meet him once awhile but that doesn't mean i still have feelings for him because i don't. I only meet him coz i'm single and eventually when i do have a bf, i will stop meeting him.
For me, relationships shouldn't be rushed, no matter how badly you want it or you think you need it. There are some guys who can suggest to "couple" without even meeting. Or couple after a few days or weeks of meeting.
I admit, i do feel lonely being single but that's life. I don't want to couple for the sake to make my loneliness disappear. I go for substance, not necessity. What does this mean?
Substance : i want to couple with a guy because i feel comfortable with him, we have some things in common, i enjoy his presence, we can communicate, he has what i want, i can see a future with him, etc etc.
Necessity : you couple coz all your friends are in a relationship or the fact that you hate being alone, doing things alone, become jealous of other couples, etc, etc. Also happens in marriage where people get married thru arranged marriage (not that i think arrange marriage is wrong). Nowadays some people go for arrange marriage because they are getting old and still unmarried. Or those who only couple for awhile, like say 6 months and then decide to get married. Reason? Coz they are in their late 20's or 30's. I tell you, i've come across so many people who rushed into getting married because they are getting old. That's the problem of society these days, they succumb to public and society's pressure whereby the thinking goes like this : there's something wrong with you if you are not married by the time you reach ur late 20's.
Now why do i say getting a new partner is like getting a new phone?
Let's talk about a typical scenario of buying a hp. If i want to buy a new hp to replace the old one, i will make sure it has additional features which my previous hp doesn't have. Like say my old phone doesn't have 3G and the new phone has one. But sometimes, there are some features in the new phone which is not as good as the old phone, example the keypad of the old phone is way better than the new one. The new phone is not necessarily perfect, but at least it's still better than the old phone.
So my ex accused me of seeking a perfect partner. It would seem that my requirements for the next partner (only i will know) may be demanding but that isn't exactly true.
Of course my next partner would be better than my ex. Why in the hell would i find a partner who's worst than my ex? What idiot had a better quality phone and then decides to buy a lesser quality one? unless of course the phone was stolen and there's not enough money to buy a new one so he has to settle for a cheaper one.
My new partner may not have some of the good qualities my ex has but overall, i'm willing to accept the flaws of my new partner because i think in other aspects, my new partner is better than my ex. So like i gave the example earlier, my new phone's keypad may suck compare to the old one but overall, my new phone gave me the satisfaction of using it.
In getting new things, i always make sure it has better functions than the old ones. So in seeking a partner, the same principle is applicable :-)...